Dismukes Daily...or weekly...or as often as I can...: November 2009

Labor was crazy, I woke up at 1:00am to pee and started doing hip circles from my yoga class to bring on the labor. I was so stir crazy last week I didn't think I could wait one more minute. When I got back in bed I started having contractions and once I determined that they felt different I got out of bed and went to contraction master.com (thank you, Jardy!) My contractions were anywhere from 4-7 minutes apart and when I went to pee again I was bleeding. Apparently it was my 'bloody show' (sorry if this is TMI) but I thought that was supposed to look different. I panicked, woke up Scott (who decided he needed to shower) and then we left for the hospital. It was about 3:30am.

I was 4 centimeters dilated when we arrived and the contractions were beginning to get more and more intense. During each contraction Scott massaged my lower back and helped me to focus on my breathing. I would get a break in between contractions but it was so exhausting that I didn't feel much relief. I moved from the rocking chair to the birth ball, but nothing seemed to help. I was trying to remind myself that this wouldn't last forever, but I also just wanted to have a fun experience with Scott and this was not fun.

I finally caved when I got btwn 7 and 8 centimeters when I realized that I was not going to have any energy reserved for pushing. The epidural didn't hurt, it just sucked having contractions when they were putting it in. Once it took I was a different woman. Unfortunately it definitely slowed things down, but who knows if things would have turned out differently if I stuck it out naturally. No point in worrying about that now. The midwives encouraged me to get some rest after the epidural and came in after an hour to check me--and there was no progression. They decided to give me pitocin at that time to kickstart things.

After a few hours I got to nine centimeters and they were able to help me stretch to 10. During this time they were having difficulty getting a good read on the baby's heart rate. I think that was because he was in a posterior position, meaning that he was faced towards my butt and would have come out face first. When I started pushing, I was having a difficult time feeling the contractions b/c you are apparently supposed to push with each contraction. The other thing that was weird was that you are supposed to hold your breath when you push--the opposite of what I've been doing in yoga for the past year. Scott and my nurse would encourage me to 'bear down' for 10 seconds at a time. I was trying to send energy to my crotch instead of holding all the breath in my face. The nurse cracked up b/c the first time I pushed I held my nose.

I pushed for only about 20 minutes, and the baby's heart rate kept decelerating. The midwives were clearly disturbed and called in the Ob. They discovered that I had developed a fever and was at risk of infection and so was the baby. That's when they made the call to do a C-section. The Ob said her main job was the safe delivery of the baby and she didn't want to put him at any greater risk. They wheeled me into the operating room and within a matter of minutes they were ready to go after administering another epidural so that I wouldn't feel any pain, just the sensation of touch. Scott was still in the delivery room so I just kept saying, "is my husband here yet?" They kept reassuring me that he would be brought in shortly, which they did, but I was not going to be satisfied until he was right at my side.

They started the procedure as soon as Scott was brought into the room and it was so surreal. I could feel them touching my abdomen, but didn't feel any pain. Miles was out in less than 10 minutes and Scott said, "It's Miles!" to tell me that it was a boy. Right after he said that we heard his cry and we both started crying. It was such a relief to hear that he was ok. I spent 10 months worrying that everything was ok and to get to that point was such a rush.

They started to stitch me up and this is when things turned for the worst. I started to get an intense pain in my right shoulder and lose feeling in my right arm. I kept telling the anesthesiologist that I was feeling pressure and he said it was a reaction to my medication, it would wear off soon. Scott then came over with Miles so that I could meet my boy for the first time. I looked into his eyes and couldn't believe that he was mine. Unfortunately, I was in terrible pain and my blood pressure began to drop, so the moment was very brief. Scott was asked to leave the operating room so that they could determine what was happening. I remained conscious, only I couldn't focus on anything other than the shoulder pain.

They gave me an x-ray to rule out any internal bleeding--they wanted to make sure that I didn't need a blood transfusion. When that looked ok they determined it was likely an allergic reaction to the antibiotic given to me for chorio infection (when I developed a fever). I think they stopped that medication and the pain went away and I was stabilized. All this time, probably 30 minutes or so, Scott remained outside the operating room in the hallway. He was so upset because he did not know what was happening to me. Miles had been taken to the Intensive Care Nursery to begin his antibiotics so that he did not get an infection.

The doctors and midwives finally brought Scott back into see me and wheeled me into the recovery room. The started me on intravenous pain medication and told us they would monitor me that night on the labor and delivery floor. We spent our first night in the delivery room. This was by far the hardest night because I was in incredible pain and I still had not been able to hold Miles. I didn't get to hold him until about 1:00pm the next day. The wait was AWFUL.

The next morning they moved me to the maternity floor and once I regained mobility they wheeled me down to the Intensive Care Nursery where I held Miles for the first time. A lactation consultant came to the ICN and helped get me started with breastfeeding. They had to start Miles on formula since I didn't see him for his first 18 hours, and thankfully he still took to being nursed. His tests had come back negative and he was soon ready to be discharged from the ICN. The wheeled us both back upstairs to the maternity ward and we haven't really been separated since.

To say the least, it has been a whirlwind! I suppose if I lived in Victorian times I would have died during childbirth, so I'm thankful I was under the care of an incredible medical team. There's probably no way I could have delivered Miles vaginally and the OB who did my c-section said that I probably wouldn't be a good candidate for a VBAC either. So much for natural childbirth! Oh well. I'm thankful to have had the experience at all and at the end of the day--I have a little boy named Miles in my life. He is so sweet and the new love of my life!

We've been home almost a week and feel like we are getting into a groove. Scott is a master diaper changer and has been incredibly supportive of my recovery. My mom has been here since Wednesday night and has cooked us beef stew, done laundry, dishes, changed diapers and provided an extra helping hand. I'm so thankful to have such a supportive family. The rest of the Ankrim clan will arrive on Tuesday for Thanksgiving so that should provide an additional amount of craziness (and support!)